What should I know as the girlfriend of a Freemason?

Hi, I'm the girlfriend of a Freemason. I've done a lot of research on the topic and have been having a lot of trouble. Most of the things I find on the Internet seem fairly ridiculous and change with every website. I want to understand something that is so important to my boyfriend. He is now an officer and is getting increasingly involved.

I feel bad questioning him repeatedly on this topic. I know it makes him a little uncomfortable because he's concerned that he'll explain things incorrectly. I also feel like I don't even know what questions to ask, half of the time.

As a girlfriend, what should I know? How should I be supportive? How much can I ask/ where should my limits lie?

Thanks!

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Dec 28, 2014
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starstarstarstarstar 		Valid Questions
by: Thane

Thank you for your concern - and for your open mind on the subject.

I would suggest you might want to find a copy of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Freemasonry. It's pretty good at explaining the background and answering common questions. There are some good websites out there; this is one. Another is run by the Grand Lodge of Massachusetts and another by the Grand Lodge of British Columbia.

As a long-time Mason, I would assure you that there are in reality very few real secrets in Masonry. They mainly relate to ways of proving oneself a Mason. A Mason is assured of a warm welcome almost anywhere in the world; some unscrupulous people would like to take advantage of that, so a bit of secrecy is indeed involved

Freemasonry as we know it now dates from the early 1700s and much of its ceremony retains the flavor and wording of those times. While the precise history is lost, here's the theory that makes the most sense, to me at least. For a number of reasons, the old medieval stonemason lodges (think of them as medieval guilds) were beginning to fade and began to allow, shall we say, honourary members to join. In return for their support, new members got admittance to an exclusive group. Somewhere along the line, emphasis shifted from working in stone to a philosophy of moral self-improvement, using the tools of stoneworking as symbols. (For instance, the level became a symbol to those so taught that Masons should remember that all men are equal under God and should be treated honorably.)

Freemasonry puts a great emphasis on symbolism and allegory, all aimed at guiding and supporting a man in his search to make himself a better man. A Mason is taught that his first duty must always be to God. After that are those duties he owes his nation, his neighbors and his family; Freemasonry should never be allowed to interfere with any of those.

Despite the claims of those getting rich by peddling fearful nonsense, nothing in Masonry will require your boyfriend to ignore or turn from his religious views, his allegiance to his nation or his love for you. There is nothing dishonorable in any of it.

As to how to support him, I would suggest that 'acceptance' is the best way of expressing it. Accept that he has found something he hopes will improve him, something that allows him to make friends with other men who have similar desires.

If I may, miss, I would say that you are already doing a great job. That you care for him and are trying to better understand him speaks well for you. He's a lucky man.
Nov 23, 2015
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starstarstarstarstar 		My Boyfriend is a Mason
by: Anonymous

Hi Writer. You shouldn't feel embarrassed about asking your boyfriend questions. Most likely, he will appreciate you inquiring. It may also help if you attend public events with him, if you don't already.

Dec 29, 2015
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starstarstarstarstar 		:)
by: Chris

I'm always with him.
May 28, 2016
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starstarstarstarstar 		A Cruel Abusive Mason On A Dating Site.
by: Anonymous

Great for the lucky couple I just read about.

This one recent young 33rd Degree and a new Templar Chivalry Order. A devoted Episcopalian. Really?
His personal inner issues seemed unknown.
Making a good man better? This one was not.
A misogynistic narcissist, player and attacks others who disagree with his views. Emulates James Bond.
He seduced me with romantic passionate seduction and we found commonality at first on the phone and by text.I found him brilliant and educated and shared eclectic cultural interests. I hoped we would meet in person, but he became alarmed and panicked that he break it off when his profile was still up and friended me on facebook and I noticed him following other attractive women, some dating and married . He cussed me out. I called him out.
Later, he strung me along and duped me. I was clueless on his status. He taunted me with my paranoia and told me to date a hippie and called me a "Cling-On". So every happy couple around me are cling-ons? I was deeply hurt after I called it off. I would have preferred to be told that there is someone else out there for me.
A Skype session was disturbing because of his interest in Adolf Hitler and a wall patrolled by Gestapo to keep out illegal immigrants.
He admitted a fault for his arrogance and just to slander him because some thought he is racist and a Fascist.
He was also an only child and a loner. He had no other social bonding at work.
I find good character attractive. Any man of valor in an organization such as this.
I found this all shocking.



Jun 05, 2016
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starstarstarstarstar 		Sorry to hear that
by: Tharn

I truly am.

Not to defend the individual - I hope we hear his side of it, for that too is worth our attention.

That said, every body has its own code of conduct and in every case, people slip through. Lawyers embezzle money, doctors are sexual predators and social workers are abusive. All of them? Of course not, but some are.

We do attempt to make good men better. Like every effort, we have our failures. It would be as wrong to generalize from the failures in Masonry as it would be WRT any other group.

Again, my sympathies.
Jun 07, 2016
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starstarstar 		A "young" 33rd Degree Mason?
by: John

The guy you describe sounds like a lot of things, but he doesn't sound like a 33rd degree Scottish Rite Mason. You say he was a "young 33rd Degree". I have known and seen a lot of 33rd's in my time, but I've never seen a young one. In my experience seeing a young 33rd would be like seeing a unicorn. There are years of service requirements before a Mason can even be considered for the 33rd Degree honors, and even then it happens for very few. So, considering all that you learned about this narcissistic, James Bond wannabe, player, why is it that you believe he was being honest when he said he was a Freemason?

Just wondering...
Jun 11, 2016
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starstarstarstarstar 		RE: Young Online Mason
by: Anonymous

Thank you.

He is 27 years old and a Masonic brother 2 years.
I may be still new to the degrees and levels.

I also know of the York Rite if perhaps he is part of it. I found that there is more than one ritual as they progress?
His picture is still up on that dating site.

I looked at a medal of some sort on his lapel.
His few profile photos show him with a hand over his heart. He lives out of state.

Thank you kindly for responding.. It sounded a little crazy.

There is also a Masonic social meetup and salon for nonmembers including women.

I live in Los Angeles.

Jun 11, 2016
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starstarstarstarstar 		More from what I saw online of him
by: Anonymous

I saw several photos from inside a lodge of him on facebook.

A few were of him wearing the lambskin apron. Some were congratulatory posts of initiation completion.
Several group photos.

There were other pictures of lodges.
Jun 14, 2016
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starstarstarstarstar 		Too bad
by: Tharn

Well, based solely on your statements, it seems to me that his behaviour might be considered by some as being antiMasonic. You might put the facts together, along with some screenshots from the site, and forward them to his lodge. If you are not sure of which one he belongs to, try the grand lodge for his state.

Without attempting to minimize your concerns or challenge your statements and while we do take such things seriously, there are always two sides to every story and he would be given a chance to give his as well.

Alternatively, most such social sites have a complaint process.
Jun 15, 2016
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starstarstarstarstar 		Behaviour,,Very Mean and Threatening to Me Today.
by: Anonymous

He is blocked from Facebook by me and has sociopathic tendencies and fiercely protective of his bloated ego. I am forbidden to contact him since he accuses me of stalking.
I mostly see this as a notch of machismo swagger with delusional grandiosity, rather than compassion and altruism for others especially in appreciation and respect for all women. I am 3 decades his senior, of course some new worldly cougar trophy for him. I was an object.

This is in Murrieta Georgia. His side might twist things against me. No way to contact him.
Poor spoiled self indulgent immature rich kid, putting up appearances and showing off his goodies and prizes.

This is not noble behavior at all. I appreciate your response and kind support.
"Just a young buck who can take what he can get".,his
dating headline.
Jun 18, 2016
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starstarstarstarstar 		Thanks for Feedback
by: Anonymous

Thank you all for your input.
Some have a long way to go in this process.
Something to grow into.
Aug 17, 2016
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starstarstarstarstar 		My boyfriend says he is a Masin, is he telling me the truth??
by: Anonymous

My boyfriend is Russian and told me he's a Mason. He has a ring, but said his brother gave it to him who is in prison. He's very secretive. He has been abusive on 4 occasions now. The last time it happened, he told me he was reported to the lodge because of his treatment towards me and that he was held and beat with a belt or something similar. I never saw any evidence of any beating when I saw him days later. After the most recent altercation, he said he was probably going to be reported again and wasn't sure of his "punishment" for having hurt me again.
I've tried to get answers, but this isn't something Google has been very helpful with.
I need answers. I'm afraid to break up with him because of certain things he's told me.
Aug 18, 2016
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starstarstar 		False Mason
by: John

No, he is not telling you the truth. We do not hand out beatings to our members when they misbehave, and I'd say being physically abusive toward a woman, or anyone, would certainly qualify as bad behavior. I don't know what kind of game this guy is playing but the bottom line is this: If he is abusive, get out.
Aug 18, 2016
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starstarstarstarstar 		Re: False Mason
by: Anonymous

Thank you John!
I told him I wasn't going to live like this anymore. He is very manipulative and intimidating, but I have a plan!
Aug 20, 2016
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starstarstarstarstar 		What John Said
by: Thane

I am appalled by what you describe. Speaking as a long-time Mason, I find it hard to believe that the man you describe is a Mason. God be with you, Miss.
Mar 27, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		New to this
by: Angel

Hi. Ive been with my bf for a year now he lives in ky i live in nj. We got engaged this past month and couldn't be happier. He is a 33rd. He is my best friend, my teacher,and has helped me understand most of what he will be doing. I know we are spending less time with each other but im here to watch him grow and succeed as he does me. Whats important to me is his loyalty, respect,and faithfulness which he shows me all. He treats me like a queen. He is deathly afraid to loose me because of our time being less spent but i want to know how much more or what i can do to be more involved and secure him with knowing im here to stay through his process. Also, what can i do to be more involved with this process.thanks
Apr 02, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		Comgratulations
by: Thane

It sounds like you two have a great future ahead of you. May I ask how old you and your bf are?
Apr 02, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		New to this
by: Angel

I am 43 and he is 40 😁
Apr 02, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		Felicitations
by: Thane

Dear Angel,

Not knowing either of you, I cannot talk to personalities. I will say that I do believe that we, as individuals, are strengthened and uplifted by a successful bonding with that special person. It's one of those things where the whole is very much more than the sum of its parts. Personally, I've always figured that a strong relationship is one in which both partners feel they're getting the better part of the deal. It sounds like you two are pretty well down that road now.

So far as supporting him, it sounds like you're already doing a pretty good job. As regards participation, well, that would much depend on each of you. Joining the Craft is not an option for you, obviously, but there are Masonic appendent bodies which welcome women, eg,the Order of the Eastern Star.

As with any long-distance relationship, patience and love will do wonders.

God bless you and good luck.
May 13, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		My boyfriend is a master Mason.
by: Brittany

Hello,

I have been seeing my boyfriend for a little over 5 months. Before we started dating, he mentioned going to "Mason meetings". I wasn't sure what that meant so I asked around to friends and family and did some research. I was appalled by what I had found. I had mentioned to him that it made me uncomfortable. Of course he apologized and we didn't really speak anymore of it. Since we've been dating, he's been absolutely wonderful. He makes me a better person, respects me, loves me, treats me well. Recently, he moved in with me. As I was unpacking his things I found this little black book with what looked like jibberish in it and a "Masonic bible". I asked him about those things and he said it was his Mason stuff and that it was written in such a way so that people cannot interpret it. Curiousity got the best of me and I researched the text which I was able to translate on the internet. There's rituals and things that he keeps around to keep his mind fresh I assume. He doesn't exactly tell me much of anything about it, other than it's none of my business and he doesn't like me researching or asking anyone about it, although I'm not mentioning his name as I do so. He's a very private person to begin with. It took a while for him to start opening up to me. I am not sure what I should expect or if I should be worried? I love him dearly and want him to be happy and proud of who he is, but at the same time I'm uneasy because he gets very upset with me when I ask about the masonry. I guess I'm just wondering how I can be supportive with this and get my mind at ease. Some websites exclaim is devil worshipping practice, strange rituals, blood oaths, etc. Other websites exclaim how good it is, the charities, etc. I guess I just want the best understanding I can get. As he is very private and can't speak about it (I think mostly he fears giving too much information), he doesn't give me much to go off of nor does he make it easy for me to feel comfortable. This is the only time we've had a real strain in our relationship since we've been together. We vowed complete honestly and loyalty within our relationship. How does that work when he's a part of an organization that takes and oath to secrecy? I love him so dearly and as I said before, he is darn near perfect. I guess I just need to be enlightened.

Thank you for your time!! I really appreciate it!
-Brittany
May 17, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		Good questions
by: Lant

Dear Ms Brittany,

Thanks for asking them.

First off, let's look at the oft-repeated negative claims.

Freemasons do not worship the devil or have consort with demons. We do require our members to believe in a supreme being, but accept good men of all faiths. The Satanism claims generally started with a French pornographer and fraudster named Leo Taxil 130 years ago, but that's a book unto itself. (You can research it if you want - no secrets there.)

We do not have our own 'special god' nor do we meld everybody's religion together. Rather, to reduce any possible conflict, we refer to the Deity (by whatever name each of us considers Him) by a common term, the 'Great Architect of the Universe', thus allowing men of all faiths to say some simple prayers together. We encourage each member to continue worshiping in his own faith as he did before he became a Mason.

Rituals – every group has rituals. School starts in many places with the singing of the national anthem and the pledge of allegiance. Consider the ritual around the President's state of the union address – it's a lot more than one person just reading a speech. There's ritual at the changing of the guard in London, England, in Boy Scouts and so forth. Much of Masonry's lessons come through repetition during our ceremonies – ritual, if you like.

Blood oaths. Yep, pretty icky. Freemasonry is almost certainly descended from highly skilled medieval stone-workers. Horrific punishments were sadly common at that time. The punishments, along with many positive things, form part of our tradition, but they are merely symbolic now. The worst penalty the Craft can actually impose is expulsion.

(Generally not emphasized by Masonry's critics is the fact that the oaths also specifically obligate a Mason to be law-abiding, charitable and strive for self-improvement to be of more use to his fellow human beings.)

Secrecy. I and my wife are honest with each other. We have what I think is a very, very good relationship. Do I tell her absolutely everything? Of course not. She is a gentle woman; I have experiences from my time in the Army which I would never risk traumatizing her with. I have legal obligations due to my service as well, things I am not allowed to reveal. She was badly injured in an accident last year and I had private conversations with her (adult) children about her condition. (Doing much better now, thanks.) She in turn is a professional, a counsellor, and has many job-related secrets I would not dream of being told. Cops, lawyers, doctors, priests – many professions carry a requirement for some level of secrecy. Almost any job does, come to think of it.

But, I hear you say, those are jobs and Freemasonry isn't, so it's different? OK, let's say you were a Girl Scout leader and a girl came to you with a very personal question, looking for advice. I daresay you would not repeat it to your boyfriend. Or let's say a neighbour tells you something in confidence about her marriage. There are innumerable situations like that.

What matters, I think, is that partners in a relationship keep no secrets from each other which could impact on the relationship – things like health, money, sex, family.

There are in fact no real, massive secrets in the Craft, nothing which would cause a disaster if they were revealed. Indeed, over the years, just about everything *has* been revealed by some former members, (No, they weren't murdered, either. We just don't talk to them anymore, given that they have broken their word.) What matters to a Mason is that *he* will not reveal them.

So, the million dollar questions – how can you be sure, how can you trust him?

Let me answer those by asking you one in turn. Take all of those charges and rumors and whispers, all the horrible things said about Freemasonry. Now take a good look at your boyfriend. You say you love him dearly, are proud of him, that he makes you a better person, treats you very well and so forth. He's "darned near perfect." Brittany, compare his personality to those claims, those things you fear. Can you see him as a devil-worshiper? a murderer? a member of a ruthless, world-dominating conspiracy?

Go with your gut. Here's one place where that magical, powerful female intuition can come into play. When you look at your man, how can you reconcile the good, loving individual you have come to know and love with all that malicious nonsense? Hopefully, you can't. If he *were* such, I doubt you two would be living with each other.

Freemasonry is a men's group designed, at its heart, to help men with moral improvement. It's easier when you are surrounded by other men on the same path. Do we always succeed? Of course not, for we are all of us human. Along the way, it gives a man a chance to spend some social time with some decent fellows.

Most lodges have family events. When you get to meet more of his fellow-Masons and their wives and girlfriends, I think it will become a bit easier for you.

Meanwhile, I again thank you for a good question and hope that this helps. Feel free to ask more.

God bless.
Jun 15, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		Second Family
by: Anonymous

My hubby is a Master Mason. His lodge holds pancake breakfast email every first Saturday of the month. When I first met him was at a charity fundraiser for the Special Olympics of Ohio. He was so comfortable around children with down syndrome & other mentally handicapso.


He invited me to breakfast at his lodge. Me being Catholic was worried about what people would think of me & my family. I was surprised to see several people I knew: My mail man, janitor from my high school & few men from my congregation. Everyone was polite & friendly towards me. I started to ask questions they told me anything I want to know is in a book they gave me " Idots Guide to Free Masonry of Ohio"

My husband hubby is an a active member in blue lodge and the Shriners. He will be active in Scottish or York Rite when he finally comes a past worshipful master.

I can join him at events at the Shriners, he always introduces me as His Lady to everyone as polite protocol.

When he deployed overseas. If I need any help I would call one of his Lodge brothers and they'd come over to help.

There's a lot of mysticism behind Freemasonry which I find appealing and interesting. What goes on in lodge stays in Lodge he jokes.
Jun 18, 2017
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starstarstarstar 		Dear Ms Anon
by: Lant

Thanks. Sounds like you two are doing well.
Jul 02, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		Dark World
by: Anonymous

Hi. i have been talking to a guy on the internet for 2.5 years now, he's an actor by profession. Now when almost 10 months passed, i thought that it was time for us to reveal ourselves, i did come in front of him, but he didnt come in front of me, i got curious and began to serach as to what possibly could be wrong, at last i concluded that he might be a part of something known as "Dark world" sorry i dont mean to offend anyone with the use of such words. I asked him if this was the case, he agreed, so cutting it short, he is not allowed to see me or talk to me, whenever i bring this up he says they will punish me and so he is really scared of coming in front of me. He decided that he wants to leave what he is a part of, i helped him with that (how i helped is to be kept a secret, since i am not proud of what i had to do) but they did not let him go. . . now i dont know if he is a freemason or a part of a cult. . . but is that true? is that world so sad? i mean he doesnt even meet his family, he met them like twice in these 2.5 years and that too by performing some sort of sacrifices as a compensation. How can someone leave if he wants to? i would really appreciate some help.
Jul 06, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		Eew
by: Thane

Dear Anon,

I am really at a loss as to what to say. I can tell you that this sounds nothing like anything I have ever seen in near 40 years in Freemasonry.

There is no reason for a Mason not to make his membership known, there is no way we would ever hurt those associated with somebody who quit, there is nothing shameful in anything we do (private, yes; shameful, no) and Masons are certainly free to meet their families and so forth. Masons can quit at any time by merely writing a note. What you are describing just sounds bizarre.

To be frank, it sounds like he is either playing with your head or else is one sick puppy. You are of course free to set your own course, but if you want my advice, move on – now. Life's too short to be spent being played by fools or freaks.

I sincerely hope things get better for you.
Oct 17, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		Ask him
by: Anonymous

The rules are if it's written in Masonic code you're not allowed to know cuz it's Secret but if it's written in English that's something he is allowed to let you read and can discuss with you ask him if it's okay to read his material such as his book he got before becoming a mason entitled approaching the portals then when he became an Entered Apprentice he got another workbook that you can read called Entered Apprentice he should have a book for each degree to help him with his degree work and to help him understand Freemasonry better in those degrees. I highly encourage the women in a relationship with a Freemason to read as much as the material as possible. I stated before the only thing that are secret are things were written in code that you cannot discuss. Other than that ask him to read over the material and help him become a better Mason to know what you're allowed to and by that helping him advance as a better man.
Oct 17, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		Get Involved
by: Anonymous

You may also get involved in Freemasonry to an extent if your boyfriend and you decide to join together in the O.E.S. (Order of the Eastern Star) which would allow you to also participate and better support your boyfriend. At least that's my opinion on the OES.
Jan 04, 2018
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starstarstarstarstar 		Never trusting a mason again
by: Anonymous

I dated a 32° mason for five months. He said that this and his job combined (nothing particularly secret about his job either) involved secrecy and privacy. He seemed to have an obsession with starting a family and having kids. He asked me to change lots of my habits and embrace healthier choices 'because I would be pregnant'. Which I actually did change. This guy though, professing himself to be the most loving, the most caring, and with the best moral compass on planet earth, lied to me from beginning to end. I found out he had a relationship of at least a year with another woman, and that she actually had gotten pregnant two months before our breakup. I gave him a chance to come clean and admit his lies and deception, and he sent me an unbelievably long email which had the most ridiculous explanation of events. He went so far as to tell me he had hoped she would have a natural abortion due to her age and that they were STILL not together. I have a hard time believing that people who are able to go through such elaborate deception are actually members of a fraternity that strives in becoming better beings. I would never in my life trust a mason again.
Jan 04, 2018
Rating
starstarstar 		Re: Never trusting a Mason...
by: Tim

Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry you were hurt by this man. You certainly didn't deserve such treatment. No one does. I would like to offer a bit of perspective, which may come as a surprise even to some of my brother Masons.

This man deceived you because that is his nature, not because he was, or claimed to be, a Mason. If he actually was a member of our fraternity he could have become so by deception as well. We try to guard the outer gates against the insincere, but we have no way to see into a man's heart. The bottom line is this: not all good men are Masons, and not all members of the Masonic fraternity are good men. It sounds as if you happened to find a bad apple. I hope you won't let it spoil the whole bunch.

Thank you for visiting Masonsmart and please come again.

Fraternally yours,

Tim
Sep 18, 2018
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starstarstarstarstar 		Please help me. I want to keep my relationship with my freemason boyfriend
by: ConfusedGF

I met my boyfriend through a mason friend. He is a mason too. We've been together for 2 years. So, I know a little bit about masonry. He's a very nice, generous and loving boyfriend. At first, he attends lodges' meetings around 2 nights a week. I am ok with that. We spend most weekends together as our time together. I met his Masonic family. I attended fund raising events, holiday gatherings and other lodges' installations. I supported him and his duties as an officer, as far as I know. I am happy just being with him as his lady.
As time goes by, he gets more involved, he's an officer at his lodge. He attends meetings around 4 nights a week. I admit, I started to get upset when he does this.....and he knows I am. There were times I became difficult that I don't even want to do something with his Masonic activities. Over time, I started to dislike it. In the back of my mind, this is his priority over me. I am not asking him to stop doing what he does. But, I guess I created a stressful environment between us. We started to argue.
Recently, we had a big argument. We had a travel plan together. And at the last minute he showed no interest to go because a Masonic meeting came up and I guess he wants to attend to that. I snapped and really got mad. I was so frustrated and out of anger, I told him he was obsessed with his Masonry. He got offended by that. Now, he asked that we take a break on our relationship. He said he wants to gather his thoughts on what path he wants to take on his life.
Now, I am so confuse. Does he really love me? Is he ready to give up our relationship because he thinks I hate his being a Mason? Please help me understand better what I need to do as his significant other/girlfriend. I love him so much and I am willing to support him, Just help me understand.I want to keep our relationship.
Nov 12, 2018
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starstarstarstarstar 		Sorry to hear of your troubles
by: Thane

I am not sure what to say here. One of the key things in Masonry is that a man owes a duty to his family - which in this case would seem to be you. There is no way that the Craft demands such commitments of any of its members - with a couple of exceptions. Some offices do demand a lot of time, but it would be expected that he would have discussed that commitment with his significant other before accepting the office.

Frankly, it sounds like you two have some issues above and beyond Freemasonry, things which might be best dealt with by a professional counselor. Good luck to you both.
Dec 23, 2018
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starstarstarstarstar 		What you should know if you dont already:
by: Pachacouti

You must commit a crime so henious, you deserve hell. For this is the only way to go. Trade your horrible life by selling your first born's eternal soul. Life get's materialistically better all of a sudden, as everyone you see help's you get over being a maddie mcann parent. Look at the cash they got to look for the one they sacrificed. A couple of holidays later, maddie forgot. Then when you get to the 18th degree and have to half the password Hose-anna, you discover god is she who demand's blood, known as Lucifer. Now you know. This is FACT.

From that point, what were known as ladies get gang raped, and come back for more, and who's doing the gang-bangin? Any mason who want's you. They could be black, white, junked up junkies, or aids ridden sex case's... Evil, that's what they are.

So many cover up's. One just needs to view the video's of trumps last vote, see the preist's with their cross's upside down? Yeah, you dont get in that crowd unless you kill your kid. Now why would a god fearing people of america fear their god? Because they'd give up their own kid for materiaistic nothing. Sex case paedo's, pure and simple.

Their secret? We repeat this life.

De-Ja-View anyone?
Dec 23, 2018
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starstarstarstarstar 		Semiliterate nonsense
by: Tharn

So, paedophilia, infant sacrifice, selling of souls, devil worship, AIDS, mass orgies, willing rape, blood sacrifice...

Have we missed any delusions? Flat earth? Hollow earth? Sasquatch? Moon bats?

That’s it - moon bats. Please stop now, you’re embarrassing yourself.
Jan 28, 2019
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starstarstarstarstar 		I need some advise
by: Anonymous

Hi,

I can see that there are many opinions and advice provided through knowledge and experience on this page.

May I enquire if a member of the brotherhood is able to take on (be with) another woman if he is already married and what role does a woman play in this "becoming a better man" journey.

Jan 28, 2019
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Hello
by: Thane

Thank you for your questions. I wish I had simple and clear answers for you.

In a perfect world, couples would bond for life and be perfectly happy forever. In a perfect world, our members would always act honourably, graciously and generously. Sadly, this world is not perfect. Masons do find their marriages or relationships falling apart - probably about half those failures are do to the man, half due to the woman, same as with any other group.

We certainly do not support, condone or sanction adultery, nor walking away from a spouse in need. I wouldn't pretend that those things happen, of course. A Mason who simply abandons wife and children can find himself expelled, if that matters. It has happened.

As to what role a woman plays in a Mason bettering himself, what role does one partner in any relationship play when the other is working towards a goal, be it promotion, education or parenthood? If your loved one is doing something important to them, you help them other out, be supportive, encouraging and so forth. So, nothing more than a woman or man in any relationship would do to support their partner.

Does that answer your questions?
Jan 28, 2019
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Thank you
by: Anonymous

Thank you for the time you have taken to respond to me.

Yes, what I have observed is raising questions in my heart as an individual I would love to believe that men would support one another to become better. Strong men raise strong men - which the families and countries need.

The reason I am finding myself on this page requesting confirmation to what my gut is telling me, he says he loves me and will protect me and now shared with me about being a Mason and that I belong to him.
Silly as he helped me out in a situation where another man wZ trying to harm me and my family, I communicated with him over time and when I am with him he really makes me feel special - he is married Tho.

Just wanted to know what masons believe in when it comes to women and if there is another man with every time we meet who is with him watching.
We are all human as you have explained and as a woman who makes plenty of mistakes as you can see, fallen for a married man. I just wNt to know if me or my kids are in any kind of danger when this man says that I never have to fear anyone again because he will protect us and as a girl who really does care for him would I tell him and in courage him to forget about what we share.
He stays with his family because he takes care of them first always for his children
But think he is seeking connection.

I am rambling on here, i guess I can't share NY of this with anyone just need someone who can give me advise being a Mason and how you would handle a this as I am 20 odd years younger than him.
Jan 28, 2019
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Complicated
by: Thane

Ah, a complex situation indeed.

I wish I knew what to say. Speaking only for myself, I cannot condone a married man having an affair and that’s what I am seeing in what you say. It doesn’t matter if his marriage is happy or not. It’s just wrong.

From my perspective, a man or woman in such a situation should be honest with all concerned. Leave the relationship if one must, but be honourable until then. My two cents.

I feel for you and the confusion you are experiencing. I cannot advise you; we must all make our own decisions. I will say that a man (or woman) who cheats on one mate can hardly be expected to be loyal to or honest with the next.

Be true to yourself, miss. I wish you well.

Jan 28, 2019
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Complicated
by: Anonymous

I hear you heart and stands to confirm all I already know deep inside.
Connection is something we underestimate and some connections should not even be given a foot hold.

Crazy how us as humans go out looking to belong to something that provides false or temporary sense of security and acceptance, no matter the cost that comes with it.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me. Greatly appreciated!

The truth sets us free from the stronghold in our minds.

Jan 28, 2019
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Good luck
by: Thane

God bless. May you find the happiness which is your due.
Aug 04, 2019
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Race and sexism?
by: Anonymous

Hi. I've begun to see an old high school boyfriend that I've stayed friends with for years. I'm 56 and he is 57. He is a committed Mason and the male "chaperone" (I don't know all the terms) for his mom's ES group. We grew up together in KY where he has stayed his whole life.

I've lived all over and am a pretty liberal liberal. He's a Bernie supporting good Mason boy. He's got the Mason logo as a tattoo. It's a significant important part of his life. I would never ask him to quit.

I'm concerned about the archaic idea that a man needs to somehow validate the ES group. Is this still true everywhere?

Also, my grandfather and great grandfather were both Masons. I understand the racist culture I grew up in and that just because you were a member of the KKK and Mason's can simply means you were a southern man in the 20's. But have the Mason's, as in the entire organization, taken a hard stand against white supremacy?

This man is not racist. In fact he is probably the most generous kind human being I've ever known.

But it's going to be a challenge for me in explaining this important aspect of who he is to people who didn't grow up with some exposure. I'm in Ohio now. My peeps are going to equate this with a racist organization so any current info is helpful.

We may not be able to cross this hurdle respectfully but I want to feel I really gave my best to understand.
Aug 05, 2019
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Thank you for asking
by: Bob

Sounds like you two are a good match. Congratulations.

First off, this is not an Eastern Star site and it's possible that I do not understand all the subtleties, but the basic idea is this. The Order of the Eastern Star was founded in the 1800s by a Mason who wanted to share some of the enjoyment he had had in that body with his female relatives. Today, OES is, I suppose you would say, 'co-ed'. Both men and women belong and participate, with the presiding officer always being a woman.

To join, a man must be a Master Mason, a degree which almost all Masons obtain. As Freemasonry is a fraternal body, that would be impossible for women, so the Star simply says that a prospective female member must be related to a Mason. Is that what you are referring to as 'validation' or is it that that some roles are specifically reserved for men (while most others for women)?

It's a male-female group, hardly what I would consider sexist. Without hinting or suggesting that you should join, that possibility is open to you, I think. You could verify it for yourself.

As to your second question, racism.

First off, no, Freemasonry as a group has not - not – formally denounced racism. However, please bear in mind that that would be impossible because there is no single spokesman for Freemasonry, no single international governing body or council, no single head. Rather, Masonry is broken geographically into well over 100 grand lodges, each of which is completely independent of the others and none of which can speak for anyone but itself.

I will also acknowledge that racism has been present in Freemasonry, just as it has been in every other body in our society - churches, labor unions, universities, political bodies, social clubs, sports and so on.

Freemasonry is formed of individual men. All of us on this planet are imperfect and most of us reflect to one degree or another the morals and thoughts of our time. Freemasonry’s aim is to make good men better, but we know it is impossible to make anybody perfect.

Masonic philosophy is that all men (and women) are equal and this lesson is constantly brought forth in our rituals and symbols. Does that always work? Sadly not; there are of course crooked lawyers, uncaring doctors and bad teachers too. But we do try and I think that we in general succeed.

In my lodge we have or have had men of every color and of almost every religion. Our last 'district leader', I guess you would call him, was a black man, freely elected. I have sincere hope that racism is dying and hope to live long enough to see the day.

In short then, while Masonry has at times and in places had members who were undoubtedly racist, the Craft as a whole works hard to teach equality, the exact opposite of racism.

I would suggest that you judge your friend by what he is as an individual.

Does that answer your questions?

I wish you much happiness together.
Oct 13, 2019
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Confusions
by: Anonymous

I want to know when a mason is dating, are you under oath not reveal when having certain meeting and where? I recently my boyfriend he was going to a Men's Conference at his church but I found out his church wasn't a Men's conference. However, I found out, there was a big Mason convention on that same weekend and He possibly could have gone there. Please help. I don't want to think of him as a liar and he says he hates liar.

PS I didn't ask him about it because I truly to know is this the case. Is he under oath not reveal such events with a girlfriend?
Oct 13, 2019
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Confusions
by: Anonymous

Correction... He said he going to a Men's Conference at his church. ..
Oct 14, 2019
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Nope
by: Tharn

I am unaware of any rule anywhere which would make going to a meeting subject to secrecy.

Is there some reason you think he went to the one instead of the other?
Jan 27, 2020
Rating
star 		There are a lot of lies out there about freemasons, website truth
by: Faith

Freemasons are encouraged to follow their own beliefs. It is like a college fraternity. There might be different beliefs. It is to better themselves as man and fathers and so forth. They discuss business. Not faith. A Page about Freemasonry: The Mason's Lady
http://web.mit.edu/dryfoo/www/Masonry/Essays/ml.html
Jan 27, 2020
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Thank you, Faith
by: Lant

That's a nice introduction. Much appreciated.
Oct 29, 2020
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Odd personal question
by: Anonymous00

So I'm currently pregnant and my boyfriend had told me we could be intimate because he was a mason. I'm not necessarily mad if it's true I just want to know if it is and why.
Oct 29, 2020
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		To Anon00
by: Thane

I'm afraid that's a bit difficult to understand. Are you saying that he convinced you that his being a Mason equated somehow to contraception?
Jan 15, 2021
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Charitable Acts
by: Anonymous

So I am the daughter of 33° Mason (Scottish Rite I believe). My father passed 5 years ago next month. Otherwise, I’d ask him.

So I had two hospitalizations September and November of 2019 for strokes.
I have friends that are also Masons. However, when others in our circle of friends have had hospitalizations and these Masons have raised monies to which I have contributed, for their medical bills. but when I had my medical bills etc, due to losing my job nothing was even offered, instead they told lies about the reason that I lost my job. Why would they do that?
I have since learned thru medical doctors and scans and reports that I have a rare disease, yet I’m struggling to pay my bills and fighting with the Social Security which I have worked & contributed to since I was 16. What’s the secret to getting things done? Any help/advise would be greatly appreciated.
Jan 21, 2021
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		The Truth
by: Anonymous

The secrecy in Masonry really bothers me and I'm reading conflicting information online in regards to hazing, adultery, prostitution, and orgies. I feel a lot of things I've read disputing these claims are lip service.
Jan 21, 2021
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Charitable Acts
by: Bob

Very sorry to hear of your problems. Actually, it sounds like you asking about two things.

Benevolence and charity are indeed things we teach our members to practise. It's not a blank cheque, of course. Much depends on the individual in question, their particular needs and situation, on how many other people are asking for assistance and whether or not the lodge in question actually has funds for this left. Without knowing your situation, it's impossible for us to comment further, sorry.

As to Social Security, despite the rumours, we simply have no influence on that.

I do hope things improve for you.
Jan 21, 2021
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		The Truth
by: Bob

So the secrecy bothers you and you believe the slanders about hazing and sex and you don't believe any of the arguments we've raised in our defence.

So, why are you here? Your mind seems pretty much made up and the only thing we can do now is to again say that we don't haze people, that our meetings are not filled with strippers and orgies and that we are in reality a group with its prime goal the moral improvement of its members.

But you've already read that defence and discarded it.

So, again, why are you here?
Aug 20, 2021
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Help
by: Anonymous

Hi, I am 42 and my partner is 44. We are both divorced and have come back together from being university sweethearts. We live in different countries. He is a freemason and very active, has been master, chaplain and is running for grand master. I’ve come to terms with the privacy, and the charity and how important it is to him. I understand it’s more than a club but a way of life. But there’s one thing I can’t understand. If it’s so good and brings so much charity and love why can’t women be a part of it? Why does not having a penis eliminate me from walking into the room with him? I’m not American so the fraternity thing makes no sense to me at all. It just seems sexist and controlling and exclusive and in today’s society, really old fashioned and out dated. He won’t change to join a lodge where women and men can go and he thinks I’m being petty and disrespectful. In truth I’m just really struggling with understanding whilst trying to support him. Can anyone help or is there any group/women I could talk to? TIA
Aug 20, 2021
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		It’s a fair question…
by: Bob

…and thank you for asking.

I suppose there are a number of answers.

Top of the list might be that he has repeatedly and explicitly promised to never countenance changes in Freemasonry and to not sit in an irregular lodge (and one letting women join is such). It may seem a trivial matter, but, to a Mason, those are very serious promises, something not to be broken or ignored. We should not have the ability to choose which promises we keep. You expect him to keep those promises he makes to you; his integrity is, I suspect, one reason you trust him personally.

Another reason, one perhaps harder to explain, is that it would change the fundamental nature of an institution which very much relies on interpersonal relationships. Even if all involved are acting entirely properly, a co-ed group cannot fail to have different dynamics than one which is strictly male or strictly female. It’s perhaps subtle, but looking at it with the hindsight of nearly 50 years, it would have been an entirely different experience for me, one not nearly as valuable.

On a philosophical basis, there are many places I myself cannot go, many groups I cannot join, many experiences I cannot share - simply because I am a man. My wife attends a women-only retreat each year. I’m fine with that. She went on an all-female professional cruise a couple of years ago; I was OK with that, too. Looking at it dispassionately, is there a legitimate reason why a man should not be able to join a university sorority or a woman’s business council or the congressional woman’s caucus? Yet women too clearly seem to like to have some special groups and spaces limited to their own sex and I hardly think that’s objectionable. To my mind, having a place reserved for the boys shouldn’t be viewed as a threat or a lessening of who you are as a woman.

I get the impression that you are a strong, committed person and sincerely care for your man. I hope this answers your question.

I hope he realizes how lucky he is. I wish you both luck.
Aug 20, 2021
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Help
by: Anonymous

Thank you for responding so quickly.
1. Promises he makes to me are about things we work on together, we haven’t explicitly promised each other anything but we work on love, honesty and courage together. We are partners together.
2. If masonry is a way of life it can’t be compared to a holiday retreat or a prayer group, these are activities to attend not something deeply ingrained into the person you are. I understand the need for men to be together and support each other. But masonry is fundamentally about living a particular way and developing yourself individually, something I can’t completely be a part of because of what I was born as.
3. Of course promises should be questioned before making them. Otherwise you could be promising absolutely anything with the tag line ‘ours is not to question’. Your whole life should question, search for truth and find your beliefs.

I fear that no matter how much we love each other, no matter how much we know God wants our union, if it comes to it he would put masonry above me because of the promises he’s made. And what’s worse is that it will be made out to be my fault for not being able to ‘trust him’ (which is not true). It’s so easily spun to look like I’m controlling and possessive and hysterical. When in truth, the question is why not let women enter if it’s the greatest and most precious thing in your life. Why not let the person that loves you most understand and benefit from these excellent practices?
Aug 20, 2021
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Cherish the important th8ngs
by: Bob


I understand your concerns. Sadly, not knowing either of you personally, I can only speak in generalities.

First and foremost, those lodges I have belonged to, those Masons I have known personally - without exception - have held that a man’s primary duties are to the Almighty, to his family and to his society, with Freemasonry taking a distinct second place. Putting that another way, I am very proud to be a Mason, but it is by no means the most important thing in my life. No man calling himself a Mason should ever place the Craft ahead of his family and your man should never ‘put Masonry above you’. Period.

Secondly, at the risk of disagreement from some Masons, there is nothing in Freemasonry, in terms of moral development, which cannot be gained elsewhere. We try to teach ethical behaviour, obedience to the law, treating all people fairly, etc - ours is one system and there are many others - religion and philosophy are two of the most common. You are completely free to develop yourself elsewhere to the same degree as a Mason is within the Craft.

My wife and I have what one might call a ‘Venn diagram’ marriage. There are many areas in which our lives do not overlap and, as far as we are concerned, that’s just fine. As just two examples, she does not share my taste for hunting and I do not share her fondness for theology. As a hospital chaplain, there’d are parts of her life she is simply not permitted to share with me; equally, my time in the Army put me in possession of much information she cannot be privy to. Does any of that negate the love and respect we share for each other or the support we give each other in the key areas of our relationship? Hardly. I cherish the things we do have in common and the things we do share; the rest is - to me - immaterial.

I do not view you as ‘at fault’ in any way, but it is clear that this seems to be a major issue for you. I do hope you resolve it.

Again, not knowing you two personally, I cannot comment further. Good luck to you both.
Aug 20, 2021
Rating
starstarstar 		Re: "Help"
by: Tim

Dear Anonymous,
Welcome, and thank you for visiting Masonsmart.

Let me begin by saying that you do not sound at all hysterical to me.

You ask "why?" The simple truth of it is that there is no 'why' to it. It simply is. But as with all things in existence, change is elemental. Evolution is woven throughout the natural Universe and that which does not evolve according to the natural law will cease to exist. God lay down the natural law to ensure that only that which evolves to its betterment survives, for only such change is predictably good. When change is forced or otherwise manipulated, the resulting evolution is unpredictable and yet, irreversible.

So it begs the question, why would you wish to change something that brings happiness to someone you love, something that, I imagine, plays no small part in his becoming the man you love?

Freemasonry is not 'a way of life,' as I understand the phrase. We are not set apart from the world; we are fully engaged in it. Freemasonry is a system of moral teachings, which when properly applied better enable a man to improve himself, and by so doing improve the world around him and the lives of those he touches. Is it your wish to be a part of Freemasonry that you may become a better version of yourself? If this is truly your desire, these moral teachings are not unique to Freemasonry. They are simple boilerplate, golden rule type lessons. Freemasonry merely presents them in a manner intended to imprint upon the mind their wise and serious truths.

If, however, your desire to share Freemasonry with your partner stems from wanting to be the center of his world to the exclusion of all else, I'm afraid I sense approaching danger.

I wish you well. Thank you for your question, and again for visiting Masonsmart.

Sincerely,
Tim
Oct 02, 2021
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		A brother
by: Hendy Barthelemy.·.

I love how you show him that you are concern and respect what and who he is so much you took the initiative to learn about it and ask him frequent question. Continue.

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