Life of a Mason's wife

My soon to be husband has been thinking about becoming a Mason. I have been doing some research on the lifestyle of a Mason's wife and have found quite a few blogs by wives of recently joined Masons who state they are on the verge of a divorce due to the lack of her husband being home and not spending time with his family. My question to you is, if he did join the Masons is he going to be spending all his time with the Masons vs his family?

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Dec 20, 2014
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starstarstarstarstar 		wife
by: Fred

Don ask questiondin most't worry about it too much. Masonry is very extensive, and can be complicated. In short, the base if masonry is the local lodge, generally refereed to as a blue lodge. The blue lodge is the base upon which masonry is built. All masons must be members of a blue lodge, and most blue lodges meet once or twice a month. Most blue lodges do not meet in July and August. There are subsets of Masonry that can be joined, but that's each mason's personal choice. Your fiancee will most likely be interviewed before his initial introduction to the lodge, and the committee also wants to meet with the wives and fiancee to explain things. If you have questions, seek out the master of the lodge that your fiancee wishes to join, and ask questions, or ask a Master Mason, we're here to help
Dec 21, 2014
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starstarstarstarstar 		It's a valid question
by: Personal choice

Thank you for visiting.

How much time Masonry takes up is pretty variable. Members are encouraged to attend at least one, sometimes two meetings a month, maybe the odd weekend event. Above and beyond that, visitation at other lodges is encouraged (and in my city, there are a couple of dozen within easy drivng distance). And then there are comcordant bodies, offshoots - the best-known of those is probably the Shriners. Essentially, a man can spend an awful lot of time at it, maybe every single night.

All that said, Freemasonry teaches that a man must first comply with his duty to the deity he believes in. After that are the duties he owes to his nation and neightbours and to his family. That latter means that he should be supporting his family, spending time with his children, helping, loving and keeping close to his wife and so forth. The Craft comes last and most Masons would very much discourage a man from ignoring his family in favour of Masonry.

Does that always happen? Probably, almost certainly not. We are, after all, human and prone to errors. In fairness, though, what some, if not many, of those bloggers may well be complaining about is a symptom, not a cause. Men unhappy with their marriage will find reasons - excuses - to be away from home. He may spend more time at work or at a bar, for instance. Or he may get more involved with a club or group and Masonry is one of those. To be fair, I'd bet you could find similar blog comments from women whose husbands are never home due to playing golf, orienteering, amateur acting and so forth.

Bottom line is that no wife in a happy marriage should fear losing her husband to Freemasonry.

Hope that helps.
Jul 15, 2018
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starstarstarstarstar 		It's all a cult and a nightmare for the wives
by: Anonymous

I am a freemasons wife. He is in the upper ranks now and it's become a cult he worships. He has spent thousands of hours at lodge meetings, Grand Lodge and community events and meetings and events of all the associated groups. Ignoring our children, who struggles with health and behavior issues. I watched as his lodge friends struggles with problems and got unlimited support. When my kids and I were chronically sick we received almost no support at all. My husband has come to believe that all religions are the same and that the church is useless so he stopped going and our kids followed suit. He believes Jesus was like Buddha, that Christian ity came from kabbalkstic and mystical Egyptian teaching and states the Bible is crap. I have been mocked, ostracized, ignored, left to suffer with depression and chronic illness, left to raise my kids ony own, thanks to those hideous cult. O married what I thought was a kind man, only to have have him ignore the kids he is raising, spend our hard earned money on Masonic books and paraphanelia, treat me in a verbally abusive manner and but his lodge brothers before the well being of his family
Nov 13, 2018
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starstarstarstarstar 		Not what we are or teach
by: Tharn

I’m sorry to hear this. I suspect your husband needs to talk to his sponsor, because what you are saying is completely contrary to what we tell our new members, which is that family comes first. Moreover, any real Mason I know would be the last to suggest that a Mason can get out of a ticket or become a millionaire simply because of his connections. Most odd. Good luck to you.
Aug 05, 2019
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starstarstarstarstar 		10 years married, no issues
by: Lynnel

When I was 49, I married for the second time; I had been a widow for 23 years at that time.

My grandfather "AP", a wonderful man, was Scottish Rite, so I had a vague knowledge, and I also inherited his beautiful embroidered apron.

When I first met my husband, he had his motorcycle riding leathers on, and the vest sported a Masonic pin, which I recognized. The rest is 10 year old history, I am pushing 60 now.

He's been everything from repeated secretary because no one else will do it, to State "Poobah". Hardly ever goes to the big conventions. But must attend coffee 2x/wk., and most local meetings - he belongs to all 3 bodies. HOWEVER, the "must" is according to his sensibilities, and health / other responsibilities.

But he told me his schedule when we first met, and I have no problem being alone. In addition, I admire the Masonic values and tenets greatly. There really is no 'secrecy' or 'cult'. He has always been open and honest with me, even having me do research for him - he runs the local Lodge FB page.

He does not expect me to 'hostess' for him, although some of the ladies of pasts tried to push me, they now know I don't do that!
Mar 31, 2020
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starstarstarstarstar 		Such a nice story
by: Lany

Thank you for sharing it with us. Much happiness to you both.
Oct 27, 2020
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starstarstarstarstar 		Miserable masons wife
by: Anonymous

I have been married to my husband 2 years now and we have had issues before but he joined the masons a year ago and has since seemed to put myself and our family on the back burner. Any time something comes up with a lodge, his or any other, it always comes first. Our marriage seems to be falling apart and he really doesn't even seem to care as long as he can hang out with his mason brothers. I am really to the point of calling it quits for good because I feel betrayed and rejected since his ea. He spends money we don't have on tattoos and jewelry all portraying anything masonic related. It seems his life with them is far more important than his life at home. I don't know what to do. I'm ready for a divorce. Any help would be amazing.
Oct 28, 2020
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starstarstarstarstar 		Sorry for your problems NEW
by: Tarn

It is very hard to comment as we have been given relatively few details and don’t know his side at all. You say that you two were having problems prior to his becoming a Mason. Is it possible that Freemasonry Is not the cause of your marital problems, but rather a place your husband uses to escape wconflict, in the same way that other people in unhappy relationships often do, like spending time in bars?

I sincerely hope you find a solution to your problems and regain the happiness you once had. Nobody should have to stay in an unhappy relationship.

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