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Masonic News & Views -- Support your local fundraiser
September 05, 2010
Greetings Brother,

I was reminded of something recently. Some people have no sense of humor.

It all began a few days ago when our doorbell rang. I opened the door and there stood the little blond haired girl from next door. "Hi!" she chirped. "We're having a fundraiser at my school. Would you like to order something," she asked as she shoved a catalog at me.

I flipped through the catalog and finally found something that wasn't too ridiculous and was only priced a few thousand percent above retail, and placed my order.

A little while later, the doorbell rang again. This time it was the little dark haired girl from two doors down. She cheerfully shoved the same catalog at me.

Next day it was the little blond haired girl's littler brother; then the little dark haired girl's big sister; then the kid from down the street. By the end of the week I was only venturing outside during school hours, and when the doorbell rang I would throw myself against the door and bark like a Rottweiler. Then, I had an idea.

I think it was an idea; maybe it was the result of throwing myself against the door one too many times. First, I needed a catalog so I went around the house and took pictures of stuff: a candy bar, a bag of microwave popcorn, a bag of cookies, a gift bow, a juice glass, an ink pen, a candle, a bar of hotel soap. I printed these out and stapled the pages together. Then I made up a price page and just for simplicity I priced everything at $10 each. With my catalog all ready I set out around the neighborhood.

My first stop was the house next door. The little blond haired girl opened the door and I said, "Hi! We're having a fundraiser. Would you like to order something?" And, I shoved my catalog at her.

She didn't even blink. She just took the catalog, flipped through it, and then yelled over her shoulder, "Mom! Can I have ten dollars for a candy bar?"

Mom came down the hall, inserted herself between the little blond haired girl and me, looked at my catalog, rolled her eyes, and said, "Very funny. If you don't want to buy the crap just say, No," and closed the door.

At the next house, the little dark haired girl wouldn't even take the proffered catalog. She just stared at me as if I'd just stepped out of a space ship and was speaking Andromedese.

At the house down the street I rang the doorbell and it sounded like a pack of maneating Chihuahuas was coming through the door to get me.

The good news is my doorbell hasn't rung in days. The bad news is I probably won't get any of the crap I ordered. Oh well.

Fraternally yours,

Tim Couch

Now, on with the news........................

Saturday, September 11, 2010: Friend Lodge N0. 352 will hold their annual Installation of Officers ceremony beginning at Noon. This is open to the public. All are invited and everyone is welcome.

Saturday, September 11, 2010: Henderson Lodge No. 477 will will hold their annual Installation of Officers ceremony. Dinner at 6:00 and the ceremony will commence at 7:00 PM.

Sunday, September 12, 2010: Ash Grove Lodge No. 100 will hold their annual Installation of Officers ceremony beginning at 2:00 PM. There will be refreshments following the ceremony.

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