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Masonic News & Views -- Squirrel hunting
August 02, 2010
Greetings Brother,

Here at the CowChows we enjoy the luxuries of modern day life, but we occasionally stop and ask the question, "What if?" What if we woke one morning and there was no electricity, or telephone service? What would we do if when we turned the faucet no water came out? What if we couldn't just run into town for groceries? How would we survive? Our latest discussion asked the question, "How would we get meat?"

The Lady BG mentioned that people used to eat squirrels. This seemed like a likely possibility since we have plenty of them and we've been feeding them for years. So, we decided to find out if we could indeed get ourselves a squirrel if we had to. But, to make it a true test of survival we would only use items that we knew would be at hand at the time. This meant no guns because we couldn't know for certain we would have bullets or shells. So, I laced up my work boots; the Lady BG gave her great white hunter a kiss at the door, and with a subtle roll of her eyes she wished me luck as I struck out into the wilds of the CowChows.

I picked out several good sized throwing stones, figuring I'd use the weapons nature provided, and slipped them into my pockets. As the trees out back of the CowChows closed around me I could hear a chattering squirrel off to my left, and I headed in that direction. His chatter grew to an alarm as I drew closer and I eventually spotted him perched high on the bough of a cedar tree. I flung a couple of stones in his direction, and he retaliated by scolding me from above before disappearing into the distant branches.

A little while later I spotted one before he spotted me. He was coming through the trees, leaping from one to the next. I froze and waited. He came to a tree not twenty feet away, and paused. His back was to me; his tail was still, and there was nothing in between to interfere with my shot. My fingers squeezed the warm stone in my hand, and I drew back my arm and launched it with all of my strength. It was a perfect throw.

I don't know how he did it. Maybe he had help. Maybe it was a setup from the beginning. But a split second before the stone arrived, he ducked and it sailed over his head. Then, he turned to look at me. I stood there slack-jawed as he tipped back on his fluffy tail, grabbed his belly, and jiggled with laughter. And then, I saw why.

The stone that had so perfectly missed his head had gone on to be a direct hit on a hornets nest in the next tree, and the hornets had just figured out where it came from. I turned to run; the angry buzz grew louder behind me, and all I could think was, "Oh, Crap."

So, do me a favor. If things get to the point that I have to throw rocks at squirrels for survival and you have any bullets left, please just shoot me.

Fraternally yours,

Tim Couch

Now, on with the news........................

Monday, August 2: On the first Monday of each month the Metropolitan Scottish Rite Club meets at 6:00 PM for dinner and business at The Golden Corral Restaurant located at 2734 N. Kansas Expressway, in Springfield, MO.

Wednesday, August 4: Gate of the Temple Lodge No. 422 will meet in Special Communication for work in the 1st Degree of Freemasonry. Several duly elected candidates will be presented for initiation into the mysteries of the Craft. Lodge will be duly Opened at 6:00 PM and there will be nourishment following the work.

Saturday, August 7: A work day has been scheduled for making needed repairs and improvements to the Masonic York Rite Temple building located at 1930 W Catalpa St in Springfield. Work will begin at 8:00 AM and continue until the work is done or you get tired. Any time and assistance you can spare will be appreciated.

Saturday, August 14: Shell Knob Shrine Club will host their annual golf tournament at Island Green Golf Club in Republic, MO. This will be a four-man scramble. For more information or to sponsor a hole in this tournament contact Noble Tim Good at 858-2412.

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