Back to Back Issues Page
Masonic News & Views -- Multiflora Mummy
October 30, 2011
Greetings Brother,

It all started with a simple request. My neighbor called to say that I had a giant multiflora rose bush just inside our shared fence line, and as it would soon be going to seed and spreading onto his property, could I please take care of it?

The problem with the multiflora rose is that left to its own inclinations it becomes more a vine than a bush. It entangles itself with everything around it, and its talon-like thorns make it nearly impossible to remove. But, a good neighbor will tackle the nearly impossible, so I geared-up and trudged up the hill to do battle with the giant multiflora monster.

The details aren't important. Suffice it to say that I eventually emerged victorious, but not without suffering numerous wounds and injuries. I dragged the carcass of my vanquished enemy onto the burn pile, and limped to the door of the CowChows. The Lady BG met me at the door with a bracing beverage and then proceeded to gently clean and bandage each puncture, gash and abrasion. When she was done I looked like the The Mummy with Scooby-Doo Band-Aid highlights.

I could feel my lower back beginning to tighten and early signs of the spasms to come. I popped a couple of anti-inflammatory tablets to try and head off a full blown episode of being, "down in my back," and then I lay down on the sofa to rest and recuperate.

I have only second-hand knowledge of the rest of the story. Apparently, I participated in the following events but I have no clear memory of any of it.

Some time later, as dusk was settling upon the CowChows, the doorbell rang and roused me from my slumber on the sofa. I attempted to arise and go to the door, but my legs refused to cooperate and I crumpled in a heap on the floor. Apparently, probably due to the gauze over my eyes, I had mistakenly grabbed the wrong pill bottle, and instead of taking a couple of ibuprophen I had swallowed a double dose of hydrocodone left over from a previous event. I learned later that this is the recommended dosage to subdue a rambunctious baby elephant.

The doorbell rang again and I staggered to my feet. Unfortunately, even the overdose of codeine hadn't overcome my back spasms and I couldn't stand erect. So, wrapped up like a mummy, speckled with blood and bent over at the waist I began to make my way across the room to the front door. I do remember that about halfway across the room I noticed my right leg wasn't working and was dragging along behind me. While it seems important now, at the time it only seemed curious.

I finally made it to the door. I swung it open and discovered a passel of kids on the front porch. The mother of the little blond haired girl next door had been baking and the neighborhood kids were going around delivering baskets of cupcakes. I leaned against the doorjamb to steady myself. I tried to say hello, but just then my back spasmed and it came out as more of a screaming groan. The kids backed away a step but seemed more amused than scared, until my feet began to slip out from under me and I started to drool. I lost my grip on the doorjamb and in an effort to catch my balance I lurched out onto the porch. Cupcakes went everywhere; kids were screaming and tripping over each other to get off the porch; dogs were barking, and I'm pretty sure I heard hysterical laughter from somewhere inside the house.

We're not anticipating many trick-or-treaters for Halloween this year.

Fraternally yours,

Tim Couch

Now, on with the news........................

Friday & Saturday, November 4 & 5, 2011: The Fall York Rite Festival takes place this weekend. Friday night sign-in from 5:30 PM. Degrees start at 6:30 PM until approximately 10:30 PM. There will be a break in the work for light refreshments.
Saturday sign-in and breakfast at 7:00 AM. Degrees start at 8:00 AM until Noon. Lunch will be served by the ladies of the Social Order of the Beauceant (as a fundraiser for the Ladies.) Work will resume at 1:00 PM until approximately 3:30 PM.
All York Rite Masons are encouraged to attend. Contact any York Rite Mason for information and a petition to join the York Rite Bodies.

Saturday, November 5, 2011: Henderson Lodge No. 477 will host a Conceal Carry Firearms Class beginning at 9:00 AM at the lodge hall located at 127 East Center Street in Rogersveille, MO. Educational classes will be conducted at the lodge hall in the morning. Lunch will be available for a modest donation. The class will move to the firing range for live firing practice following lunch.
Class size will be limited so please reserve your spot as soon as possible. Contact Mike Smith at msmith"at" or call 417-753-4360 or contact Chad Porter at chad.porter"at" or call Cell: 417-763-1041 or Home: 417-753-3082.

Friday, November 11, 2011: MWB John Hess, Grand Master of the Grand Lodge of Ancient Free & Accepted Masons of the State of Missouri will hold an Area/Town Hall Meeting at the Scottish Rite Cathedral, 505 South Byers in Joplin, MO at 7:00 PM. All Missouri Freemasons are encouraged to attend.

Saturday, November 12, 2011: MWB John Hess, Grand Master of the Grand Lodge of Ancient Free & Accepted Masons of the State of Missouri will hold an Area/Town Hall Meeting at the Gate of the Temple Lodge building, 1700 North Boonville in Springfield, MO, beginning with breakfast at 8:00. All Missouri Freemasons are encouraged to attend.

Thursday, November 17, 2011: Henderson Lodge No. 477 will have the privilege of honoring a Brother with 67 years of Masonic service. Dinner will be ready at 6:30 and Lodge will be duly Opened at 7:30 PM.
Henderson Lodge No. 477 meets at 127 East Center Street in Rogersville, MO.

Friday, November 18, 2011: Forsyth Lodge No. 453 will hold its annual Stew & Chili Fundraising Dinner. The proceeds from this event will assist those in the area who have needs during the Holiday Season and throughout the year.

  • Dinner will be served from 4:30 to 7:30 PM.
  • Cost is $6 for all you can eat.
  • Children under 6 years eat free.
The lodge is located at 141 Pinet in Forsyth, MO (1/2 block south of the Post Office.)
We appreciate your support.

Saturday, November 19, 2011: There will be a C2A (Chance-to-Advance) one-day class at the Gate of the Temple Lodge building, 1700 North Boonville in Springfield, MO. Breakfast will be ready by 7:00; Registration will begin at 7:00 AM and Lodge will be duly Opened at 8:00 AM. This C2A will be hosted by Solomon Lodge No. 271, A.F.& A.M.

Saturday, November 19, 2011: You are cordially invited to a Fish Fry Dinner hosted by Springfield Chapter No. 15 Royal Arch Masons.

  • Fish, French Fries, Cole Slaw, Drink and Dessert
  • Dinner will be served from 4:00 to 6:00 PM.
  • Everyone is Welcome
  • A $6 donation is appreciated.
  • 1930 West Catalpa Street, Springfield, MO
Come and get your fill of Food, Fellowship and Fun!
Proceeds will benefit the works of Springfield Chapter No. 15 RAM.

Monday, November 28, 2011: York Rite Bodies Years of Service Recognition Dinner will be hosted by the ladies of the Social Order of the Beauceant. Dinner will be served at 6:00 and all members are invited.
The Regular meeting of all York Rite Bodies will begin at 7:00 PM.

Monday, December 12, 2011: Date Change - The December meeting of Springfield Chapter No. 15 Royal Arch Masons, Zabud Council No. 25 Cryptic Masons, and St. John's Commandery No. 20 Knights Templar has been moved to December 12 to avoid any conflicts with Christmas and Holiday plans. The meeting will begin at 7:00 PM.
In January the schedule will return to 7:00 PM on the 4th Monday of each month at the Masonic-York Rite building located at 1930 West Catalpa Street in Springfield, MO. All York Rite Masons are encouraged to attend.

Saturday, February 4, 2012: RWB Robert C. Floyd, Grand Lecturer of Missouri Masons will conduct a School of Ritual Instruction and Regional Round Robin Ritual Competition at Monett Lodge No. 129. Lunch will be available at 11:30 AM and instruction will begin at 1:00 PM. All Missouri Master Masons are encouraged to attend.
The Monett Lodge building is located at 501 13th Street in Monett, MO.

Save the Date! Saturday, February 18, 2012: Webb City Lodge No. 512 will host the 98th Annual Washington's Birthday Celebration with Masonic Degree work by three different States. The 1st Degree will be performed by Grove Lodge No. 187 of Oklahoma; the 2nd Degree by Pittsburg Lodge No. 187 of Kansas, and the 3rd Degree by Webb City Chapter No. 119 Royal Arch Masons of Missouri. The 3rd Degree will be done in full costume and promises to be most impressive.
Webb City Lodge building is located at 401 West Broadway in Webb City, MO. and the event will start at Noon.

Please Note: Due to acts of God and Government this year the date for the drawing for the new Chevy Camaro has been changed to March 17, 2012. Please help the Scottish Rite Valley of Joplin in their efforts to preserve and repair the beautiful Scottish Rite Cathedral in Joplin, MO. And, in helping preserve this piece of American history you could win a brand new Chevy Camaro. Tickets are just $50 each and only two thousand tickets will be offered. There will be cash prizes awarded, as well. For all the details on how you can help us preserve this beautiful and unique building please go to WWW.WIN-CAMARO.COM. or find us on Facebook and "LIKE" the page at We're a long way from our goal so please help spread the word. We truly appreciate your assistance. Thank you very much.

As you can see there's lots of Masonry going on in Missouri. See the links below to keep up with the latest or to submit information for your upcoming meeting.

For more news of upcoming events and special communications visit the Upcoming Masonic Events page on

For a calendar of Stated meetings for many of the Lodges and Masonic bodies visit the Masonic Calendar page on

For help locating a lodge building visit the Missouri Masonic Lodge Map page on

Thanks for subscribing to Masonic News & Views. If you know someone who might also enjoy this newsletter just forward it to them or send them a link to the following page:

Back to Back Issues Page