Some things in life are simply sacred and not to be messed with. Ice cream is one of those. I knew better, of course, but there are moments in life that must be seized regardless of the consequences. Yesterday, I experienced one of those moments.

The Lady BG and I took a little road trip this weekend. It was her birthday and I had some meetings out of town. Rather than ask me to choose between her birthday and my meetings she graciously joined me in my travels. We traveled to central Missouri; it was a beautiful day and the trip was pleasant and peaceful. While I was engaged in meetings that evening she engaged in her favorite pastime of gathering new and interesting knowledge from the Internet.

After I returned to the hotel and into the evening we chatted. I chatted about the fun we'd had at our meeting, and she chatted about the things she'd learned. One interesting story she'd come across was about an ice cream shop that had been making cicada ice cream during the recent periodical cicada emergence. We both agreed it seemed a waste of perfectly good ice cream.

The following day as we were making our way out of town I happened to notice an ice cream parlor up ahead. A refreshing cone seemed like an excellent way to begin the long drive home, so I pulled in. I went inside and got our ice cream while the Lady BG waited in the car. Everything was going fine until I was on my way back to the car.

The perimeter of the parking area was outlined by short wooden posts set into the ground. As I passed by one of these posts I glanced down and there, clinging to the side of the post, was the husk left by an emerging cicada.

I eased myself into the car and as I turned I said, "Look honey, they had some of your cicada ice cream!" And, I presented her with a close-up view of the cicada husk perched atop her ice cream cone.

In hindsight I think it was probably the presentation that caused the trouble. I held the bug-topped cone so close that her eyes crossed for a second, and then as the bug came into focus she simply reacted. The next thing I knew I was wearing one ice cream cone and the other was dripping from the ceiling onto my lap. Her scream attracted the attention of passersby who immediately took cover behind another vehicle and called 9-1-1. The commotion outside drew the attention of those inside the parlor and two very muscular and chivalrous young men came out to protect the damsel in distress.

As usual the Lady BG summed up the situation quicker than I did. Before I even realized I was about to be dragged out through the window of the car and forcibly subdued until the police arrived she was already whiscreaming, "Get us out of here!"

One of the two young men was reaching for the car door when I dropped the transmission into reverse and stomped down on the pedal. Somehow I missed crashing into any other cars; I screeched to a halt, changed gears, and squealed out of the parking lot.

For several miles I kept one eye on the rear-view-mirror, expecting to see flashing lights as we crested each hill. Finally, Columbia, MO was fading behind us and I inhaled deeply and sagged against the seat. Only then, did I realize there were sniffling sounds coming from the passenger seat. I turned to find the Lady BG giggling so hard she was crying. I wiped the crusty ice cream from my eyebrows, planted my sunglasses over my eyes and wrapped both hands around the steering wheel.

Eventually, she got herself under control long enough to hand me a moist towelette and to say, "Sometimes, you really bug me."

Fraternally yours,

Tim Couch

Now, on with the news........................

Through June 16, 2011: Nashville, Tennessee author Heather Carver to donate profits from book sales of her book Walking with the Widow’s Son to Joplin tornado relief.
Often misunderstood, Freemasonry has been the center of conspiracy theorists jabs and speculations of horrifying rituals. Author Heather Carver endeavors to demystify the nature and practices in Freemasonry in Walking with the Widow's Son. Drawing from her experiences as the wife of a Past Lodge Master, Carver uses easy to understand prose and examples to make the history and observances of Freemasonry accessible to everyone. This text is perfect for the wives, children, and friends of Masons who wish to have a better understanding of the Craft.
Please visit Heather’s WWTWS donation - http://www.wwtws.com/donation.html page set up specifically for the Joplin, MO tornado victim’s disaster relief. Heather is donating all profits from the sales of her book through June 16th, 2011. The price of each book is $13 and will be signed by the author.
If you have any questions, please contact Grave Distractions Publications at 615-285-3290, or via email at [email protected]

Monday, June 13, 2011: Mt. Olive Lodge No. 439 will meet in Special Communication for work in the 3rd Degree of Freemasonry. Two candidates will be presented for the sublime degree of Master Mason beginning at 6:00 PM.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011: Bolivar Lodge No. 195 will have work in the 1st Degree of Freemasonry in conjunction with their stated communication. Eric Davey will be presented for initiation into the mysteries of Freemasonry. Dinner at 6:30 and Lodge will be duly Opened at 7:30 PM.

Thursday, June 16, 2011: Henderson Lodge No. 477 will have work in the 2nd Degree of Freemasonry in conjunction with their stated communication. Dinner at 6:30 and Lodge will be duly Opened at 7:30 PM.

Monday, June 20, 2011: Mt. Olive Lodge No. 439 will have work in the 1st Degree of Freemasonry in conjunction with their stated communication. Two candidates will be presented for initiation into the mysteries of Freemasonry. Lodge will be duly Opened at 7:30 PM.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011: Ava Lodge No. 26 will meet in Special Communication for work in the 2nd Degree of Freemasonry. Two candidates will be presented for advancement to the degree of Fellow Craft beginning at 6:00 PM.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011: Friend Lodge No. 352 will meet in Special Communication for the purpose of Initating Thomas McInnish into the mysteries of Freemasonry. Meal at 6:15 PM and Lodge will be duly Opened at 7:00 PM. All Freemasons are invited in.

Thursday, June 23, 2011: Forsyth Lodge No. 453 will meet in Special Communication for work in the 3rd Degree of Freemasonry. Dinner at 6:15 and Lodge will be duly Opened at 7:00 PM.

Saturday, June 25, 2011: Friend Lodge No. 352 will celebrate St. John the Baptist Day at our annual picnic at Finley River Park in Ozark under the red pavilion. The lodge will provide the main course and beverages, and we ask that everyone bring a side-dish or dessert. We plan to start eating at 5:30 PM.

Monday, June 27, 2011: Willard Lodge No. 620 will meet in Special Communication for work in the 1st Degree of Freemasonry. Two duly elected candidates will be presented for initiation into the mysteries of Freemasonry beginning at 6:00 PM.

Saturday, September 10, 2011: Charity Shoot for Kids sponsored by Solomon Lodge No. 271. Proceeds from this Sporting Clays Shoot will support McGregor and Bowerman Elementary Schools in Springfield, MO. The event will be held at Ozark Shooters Sports Complex in Branson, MO. For more information contact Brother J.W. Gibbs at (417) 350-2700.

The Scottish Rite Valley of Joplin needs your help in preserving our beautiful Scottish Rite Cathedral. And, in helping preserve this piece of American history you could win a brand new Chevy Camaro. Tickets are just $50 each and only two thousand tickets will be offered. There will be cash prizes awarded, as well. For all the details on how you can help us preserve this beautiful building please go to WWW.WIN-CAMARO.COM. or visit and "LIKE" the page at Facebook.com/Win-a-new-Camaro. While you're at it be sure and tell your friends. Thank you very much.

As you can see there's lots of Masonry going on in Missouri. See the links below to keep up with the latest or to submit information for your upcoming meeting.

For more news of upcoming events and special communications visit the Upcoming Masonic Events page on Masonsmart.com

For a calendar of Stated meetings for many of the Lodges and Masonic bodies visit the Masonic Calendar page on Masonsmart.com

For help locating a lodge building visit the Missouri Masonic Lodge Map page on Masonsmart.com

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