Back to Back Issues Page
Masonic News & Views -- Splat!
October 17, 2010
Greetings Brother,

There are certain "don'ts" in life that simply make sense. When you hear them you can't help but nod your head in agreement. Like, "don't spit into the wind;" or "don't eat yellow snow;" or "don't mess around with Jim." I'm not sure who Jim is, but simple logic tells us the others are true so I give Jims a wide berth.

But the thing is, these truisms came from somewhere. At some point in time somebody somewhere turned his face into the wind and spat, and then went about warning others that this was not a good idea. The same goes for yellow snow; the saying had to originate somewhere.

Well, today I have a new "don't." Don't turn your back on a bucket of tar.

I've been in a frenzy this week to get the driveway of the CowChows sealed before the weather turns cool. It's not a small job; the driveway is long and wide and toward the end it slopes to a fairly steep grade. It was going pretty well, though. I was down to the last twenty or so feet and was hustling to get done before dark. I was bent to the task and focused only on the next pass of my squeegee, when the corner of my eye caught movement.

I looked up to see Mason, the little brother of the little blond haired girl next door, reaching for the bucket of tar. A picture of me trying to explain a tar covered boy to his Mother flashed through my mind and I instinctively yelled, "Mason, no!"

He jumped back, but when he did he bumped the bucket and it began to tip. I tried to run to the bucket, to catch it before it spilled, but my shoe slipped on the fresh tar and I went down, SPLAT, spread-eagled onto the wet black tar. I looked up just in time to see the black lava spill over the rim of the falling bucket; I saw the eruption of droplets as the bucket crashed onto its side; I saw the tsunami of black gooey sticky smelly tar as it rushed down the hill towards me, and all I could do was take a breath and close my eyes.

Four cans of WD-40 and a long hot bath later, I was finally able to blink again. After cleaning up the mess as best I could I went next door to check on Mason. He was lounging on the sofa, watching T.V. and munching on an apple. When he saw me on the porch he took off like a shot down the hall. He hadn't gotten a drop on him, and his parents had no idea anything had happened. I decided to leave it that way. No point in his getting in trouble, and getting grounded, and not being allowed to come over to the CowChows, where I can drown him in goop.

Fraternally yours,

Tim Couch

Now, on with the news........................

Friday and Saturday, October 22 and 23, 2010: The Fall Reunion of the Ancient & Accepted Scottish Rite Valley of Joplin will take place this weekend. This will be the last Reunion before the initiation fee goes up at the beginning of 2011. This Reunion is dedicated to RWB Doc Gibbons 33rd Degree. Contact any Valley of Joplin member for a petition or call the Valley office at 417-623-3219.

Thursday, October 28, 2010: Annual Fall Chicken Dinner fundraiser for Monett Masonic Lodge No. 129. Smoked/Grilled Chicken, Baked Beans, Potato Salad, and Drink for $6.00. Lunch will be served from 11:30am to 1:30pm. Dinner will be served from 4:30pm to 6:30pm.

Saturday, November 6, 2010: Solomon Lodge No. 271 A.F.& A.M. is sponsoring a Sport Shooting charity event to benefit the McGregor and Bowerman Elementary Schools in Springfield, MO. All proceeds will go to the schools.

There will be a raffle for a new Benelli Shotgun as well as a $50 Gift Card from Bass Pro Shops.

The event will be held at the Ozark Shooters Sports Complex, 759 US Highway 65, Walnut Shade, MO 65771. Registration will begin at 9:00 AM; Shooting will start at 10:00 AM, and lunch will be served at Noon. For more information contact Jay Gibbs at (417) 350-2700.

For more news of upcoming events and special communications visit the Upcoming Masonic Events page on

For a calendar of Stated meetings for many of the Lodges and Masonic bodies visit the Masonic Calendar page on

For help locating a lodge building visit the Missouri Masonic Lodge Map page on

Thanks for subscribing to Masonic News & Views. If you know someone who might also enjoy this newsletter just forward it to them or send them a link to the following page:

Back to Back Issues Page